Social 🤣 Funny

[Beastmode]

 

[Hardyman's Yugo]

 

[Hardyman's Yugo]

 

[Evil_Mush]

hello, all. My name is Patrick - although my mother wanted to call me Justin........as a reminder of my conception.

As a Justin, you've now just produced a horrendous mental image, thanks mate

 

[Evil_Mush]

The 4 keys to a happy and successful marriage.
1. Authenticity, always be truthful and real.
2. Nurture, take care of them and protect them.
3. Adore them, make them feel special.
4. Language, be careful with words as they can be barbs.

Hint: Anagram

I think Acrostic is the word you were looking for.

 

[tyrael]

 

[John Nick]

Does anyone want to buy a dead canary ??
It's not going cheep.

 

[Worried2Death]

Does anyone want to buy a dead canary ??
It's not going cheep.

Why did the bird fall out of the tree?
He was dead. -my daughter age 4.

Thread's getting worse.

 

[Beastmode]

Why did the bird fall out of the tree?
He was dead. -my daughter age 4.

Thread's getting worse.

Your daughter inherited your bad sense of humour ‍

 

[mrblonde]

So, dad, why's my sister called Teresa?
Well, son, when your mum and I started talking about having a family, as you do you think: Boy or Girl? And then you think names. And we decided to name our children after our favourite thing - your big sister arrives and well, you know your Mum and her Easter eggs. Her favourite thing is Easter, so Teresa's an anagram of your mum's favourite thing.
Oh, okay, thanks, dad.
No worries, Alan.

 

[mrblonde]

Your daughter inherited your bad sense of humour ‍

Or maybe his daughter's a disciple of Andy Kaufman...

 

[Worried2Death]

So, dad, why's my sister called Teresa?
Well, son, when your mum and I started talking about having a family, as you do you think: Boy or Girl? And then you think names. And we decided to name our children after our favourite thing - your big sister arrives and well, you know your Mum and her Easter eggs. Her favourite thing is Easter, so Teresa's an anagram of your mum's favourite thing.
Oh, okay, thanks, dad.
No worries, Alan.

And tell Cnut to do the dishes

 

[John Nick]

One of my staff rang me on a very busy morning and said "Sorry boss I am sick and can't come to work today "
I replied saying it's a very busy day and how sick are,?

His response was, " I'm in bed with my sister. How sick is that "

 

[Worried2Death]

One of my staff rang me on a very busy morning and said "Sorry boss I am sick and can't come to work today "
I replied saying it's a very busy day and how sick are,?

His response was, " I'm in bed with my sister. How sick is that "

Still running the Gore Dalry mate?

 

[pbrown011235]

As a Justin, you've now just produced a horrendous mental image, thanks mate

oooops, sorry!

 

[mrblonde]

Called the boss this morning: "Sorry, mate, don't think I can make it in today. I've got a wee cough."
The boss said: "You've got a wee cough?"
I said: "A Week off, you said it, cheers mate! See you next Monday!"

 

[Evil_Mush]

Your daughter inherited your bad sense of humour ‍

I dunno, I heard John Cleese saying that in my head and it was hilarious

 

[Bay39er]

.

 

[Worried2Death]

.

The eternal dilemma

 

[pbrown011235]

Called the boss this morning: "Sorry, mate, don't think I can make it in today. I've got a wee cough."
The boss said: "You've got a wee cough?"
I said: "A Week off, you said it, cheers mate! See you next Monday!"

aw jeez that's bad